Conflict with other people is inevitable, both personally and professionally. By saying conflict we mean a dispute between two or more people, who have different positions on an issue. This conflict can come from the different views, needs, goals, approaches, values, beliefs, personalities and ways of communication that individuals have with each other or the lack of clear roles. The concept of conflict, although it has a negative sign for most people, actually has both positive and negative elements depending on how the conflict is treated.
If conflict is confronted as a means of imposing and empowering one person on another person or group of people, then the result will be poor communication between people, polarity in human relationships, lack of mutual understanding and trust, difficulty in perceiving the problem and its solution, the creation of bad psychology of individuals and the development of unpleasant emotions. At the employment level, in addition to the above, it will cause a reduction in the efficiency and productivity of employees, but will, also, lead to the resignation of some of them.
On the other hand, if your goal is not to impose and power on other people through conflict, but to solve the problem, then conflict can become very beneficial. The benefits of conflict include improving human relationships, improving communication between individuals, developing self-awareness, the possibility of personal development, reducing stress, accepting diversity, defining and solving a problem, the relief of intense feelings, the creation of constructive conversations, setting boundaries and maintaining mental and, consequently, physical health. At the work level, in addition to the above, it contributes to the satisfaction, but, also, to the increase of the efficiency and productivity of the employees, to the freedom of expression, as well as to the development of creative ideas.
But, how could this be achieved? Thus, how could conflict be a creative process for individuals and not a battlefield? Let’s look at some ways of managing conflicts.
- We are not afraid of conflict. As scary as it may seem, we need to avoid colliding with another human being. Avoidance does not solve the problem and also contributes to the creation of many negative emotions, such as anger, rage, aggression, anxiety or frustration, defeatism, disbelief, e.t.c. It is best to confront the other person by expressing our point of view. To do it in the best possible way, we could prepare for the moment.
- We show empathy. By this we mean to try to understand the other person’s position and feelings, as well as our own, so that we can understand what the problem really is to solve it, as well as the intentions of the other person. We can do this by asking questions and showing interest in understanding the opposite view.
- We show objectivity. Thus, to focus more on the facts and less on our emotions. Usually, strong emotions prevent us from seeing situations calmly. For this reason, it would be good to stay in the data and in the actions.
- We speak politely. The way we speak, the tone of our voice, even, and the posture of our body play an important role in the outcome of the conversation. For this reason, we speak calmly, in a beautiful way and with respect to our interlocutor.
- We manage our emotions. In an intense debate, as the people say, blood is shed. However, this is not always a good advisor. We try to keep our composure and express our opinion with serenity and with arguments.
- We take our responsibility. In a dispute, usually, both sides are responsible. Not to the same degree or in the same way, however, the responsibility is shared. For this reason, we need to take on the responsibility that falls to us, so that we can show in practice that we are interested in coexist with the other person.
- We ask for mediation. If we do not have good communication or common codes of communication with the other person, and we find that all our efforts are fruitless, then we could ask a third person to participate in the discussion and help to resolve the issue.
In summary, although conflict is inextricably linked to unpleasant situations and feelings for most people, it could be a source of creation, self-knowledge and evolution, if managed properly and if both parties want it. Heraclitus had said “war is always the father”, thus, the war / conflict of opposites leads to harmony and justice. And we should always remember, that is its purpose.
This article contains copyright. Reproduction of all or part of this article may be done with the consent of the author or with reference to the website www.marialykousi.gr. The first publication was made at www.psychology.gr on 11/10/2021.