We have all been in conflict with another person in our lives, even once. The result is, usually, heartbreaking. This is because we remember this conflict with loud voices, anger, insults, lack of communication and aggression. And somehow, the conflict has formed in our minds with a negative sign. But is that really the case? Does the conflict only have a negative connotation?
First, let’s define the concept of conflict. Conflict is a dispute between two or more people who have different positions on an issue. This difference comes from a variety of reasons:
1. There Are Different Views.
People often come into conflict, when they do not share the same opinion on an issue. For example, two girlfriends are discussing the death penalty. One is in favor of the death penalty and the other against. During the conversation, trying to convince each other of their point of view, they begin to express themselves more strongly to each other, resulting in a clash at the end.
2. There are Different Goals.
A conflict can arise, when people have different goals. For instance, in a company, the sales department wants to buy banners and posters to help with monthly sales targets, while the accounting department wants to reduce the company’s expenses. With this different targeting of the departments, as one will prevail, the conflict between them is inevitable.
3. There Are Different Needs.
Non-identification of needs can lead to conflict. For example, after a very tiring day at work, Vassilis wants to sit at home and rest, while his wife Anastasia wants to go to the cinema to see the new film of her favorite director. The couple’s needs are different, so they clash over, whether to go to the cinema or stay home.
4. There are no Clear Roles.
The non-delimitation of roles, responsibilities and boundaries leads people to conflict with each other. If, for instance, a company hires two employees for the Accounting department, then it needs to assign specific tasks to each of them. If it does not happen, then employees need to share responsibilities on their own. In this case, there may be disagreements as to, who needs to take over and for what reason.
5. There are Different Ways to Approach an Issue.
Many times, people may agree on an issue, but not on how to approach it. For example, two friends are discussing teleworking. They both agree, that teleworking was useful during the pandemic, but the fact that one illuminates the possibilities and prospects of teleworking, while the other focuses on its problems and weaknesses leads to a dispute of which of the following two is the most significant.
6. There are Different Values.
In general, all people share the same values. Health, family, friendship, career and so on. What they do not share is the order of priority, where they place the values in their lives. If, for instance, two young people get married and the man has as his dominant value his professional career, while the woman has the family, then the conflict between them will not be long in coming.
7. There are Different Beliefs and Principles.
Everyone has his own worldview. What is right and what is wrong, what is fair and what is unfair, what is moral and what is immoral. In the case where, for example, a boss considers that the dismissal of an employee is fair, while the employee, who is discharged believes, that is unfair, then the difference in their beliefs is a serious reason for conflict.
8. There are Different Personalities.
Not all people are the same. Some are introverted, while others are extroverted. Some are neurotic, while others are not. Some are receptive to new experiences and the new, while some are conservative and traditional. The coexistence of different personalities is often a cause of conflict. For example, if in a company a CEO who is receptive to the new, proposes an innovative technological method, which will help the company to function better, but the Board of Directors, which consists mostly of conservatives, rejects his proposal, then there is likely to be a conflict between the CEO and the Board of Directors.
9. There is a Different Communication.
Communication is very important in the interaction of people. The better people communicate with each other the better and smoother their relationships are. Otherwise, misunderstandings and misinterpretations are created resulting in argument. For example, if a mother urges her child to tidy up his / her room, then the child, feeling that he / she is ordering it, will get upset and will respond aggressively, resulting in a fight.
From the above it is understood that the reasons, where two or more individuals can lead to the conflict are many and different depending on the case. A dispute may be due to one of the above reasons or to several at the same time. When someone argue with another person from his / her family, his / her job, his / her friendly environment, etc. he needs to ask himself, why he / she is in conflict with him / her and in this way he / she will better understand both himself / herself and the other person, where he / she is in front of him / her, so that they can coexist with him / her in the best possible way.
In short, conflict means resentment, it means problem to be solved, it means relationship with another human being. It enables people to understand, where they are and where they want to go. Therefore, instead of perceiving conflict negatively, we need to perceive it as a useful tool of self-knowledge and our evolution.
This article contains copyright. Reproduction of all or part of this article may be done with the consent of the author or with reference to the website www.marialykousi.gr. The first publication was made at www.psychology.gr on 09/27/2021.